Things I learned from watching Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief

1. ADHD is just good battlereflexes.
2. It is possible to hide the body of a horse inside a electric wheelchair.
3. To hide the fact that you have goat legs you just need a pair of crutches and a pair of baggy pants.
4. Having dyslexia just means you are able to read ancient greek.
5. The greek messenger god Hermés wears Converse.
6. The greek gods are selfish and douchy.
7. The gorgon Medusa lives in New Jersey.
8. Hades lives beneath the Hollywood sign.
9. If you’r hearing voices it’s just your godly father speaking to you.
10. There is a five-headed Hydra working as a janitor in the Parthenon in Nashville, Tennessee.
11. Charón will not accept american dollars.
12. Hades is rocking the Mick Jagger-look and has a british accent.
13. A sword will turn into a ballpoint pen and vice versa.
14. The entrance to Olympus is on the top of The Empire State Building.